Prayer for a rainy day by Xavier Duff
Taken from The Weekly Times newspaper December 6.
Dear God,
Normally I'd be happy to offer up this as a spoken prayer,but just to be sure I feel I need to put it in writing.
Because I know you've had a lot on your mind lately,what with the state of the world and so many people needing your help with the big questions-war in Iraq,global warming,Third World poverty and getting those Ashes back from the Poms.
It's just that after 10 shocking,dry years I was sort of wondering if you might not have noticed that the old weather system seems to have ground to a halt here in Australia?
We haven't had any of that wet stuff.You know...what's it called..."rain" ? For yonks.
It's not as if there's not enough to go around-it seems it's just the distribution.
China and the Philippines have had a lot of floods recently and New Zealand,well,they never seem to miss out.
No wonder when it does rain here,our weather bureau calls it a rain"event" : it sure is.And worthy of a public holiday and some champers to celebrate.
I know patience is a virtue,but ours has become thinner than the ozone layer.
You're omniscient,so I don't have to tell you how dry it's been.But I will anyway.
It's been drier than a teetotallers' picnic.It's been so dry the fish have to take swimming lessons,the cattle are growing humps on their backs and the paddocks are sprouting spinifex.Teenagers are no longer wet behind the ears and farmers can't even muster a tear.
It's drier than a stale,sun-baked Savoy.I know places where it's so dry the only thing farmers can grow is dehydrated peas and the definition of luxury is having water in your tea.
One farmer I kow said it's been so long since he harvested a crop he can't remember where he left the reaper and binder.
If there is a rare shower the children run and hide,the ducks run for high ground and the frogs get such a fright they can't croak.
Don't get me wrong,though,the big dry hasn't been all bad.We've learned a hell of a lot about conserving water and how to get by with so little.
I know I have.I drive my family mad with my water-saving ideas.I admit it can be a nuisance finding change for the coin-operated shower and,yes,sometimes I'm not around when they need the key to the toilet,but these are hard times.
I hear no complaints from the dog,who is more than happy to save 10 buckets a week by drinking the washing-up water.
I've not only fixed the leaky taps-I've padlocked most of them.I've decommissioned the pond,confiscated the kids water pistols and mulched the wading pool.
I've ripped up my old thirsty garden and replaced it with my own mini Mallee.
But somehow I feel not everyone takes water saving as seriously.I see water wallies everywhere.And forgive me Lord,but I can't help thinking we should bring back public flogging or the stocks for all the water wasters.
There are still townies who think you gave them the right to hose their driveway at noon mid-February.Could you possibly arrange for a bolt of lightning to strike them where it hurts -right in the trigger nozzle?
For penance they should have to sweep their driveway with a toothbrush.
And maybe you could stone the plonkers responsible for setting those automatic water systems that you see merrily spurting water over golf courses and ovals after it does rain and for malfunctioning toilets that flush our hard-earned water savings,literally,down the pan.
Perhaps I could suggest a plague of locusts for those who leave the tap running while they clean their teeth,or those who rinse their teacup with enough water to wash an elephant?
Likewise those drongos who invented those supposed water-saving taps in public loos --you know,the ones that flow for a long time before turning off automatically?
I used one the other day,where you could have read the whole National Water Initiative in the time it took to turn off.
And while you're about it,could you strike down the next weather presenter who says it's going to be a beautiful day? Unless they're talking about a rain-bearing depression decending on the state.
But could you reserve you worst punishment for the worst,most un-Christian behaviour - I'm talking about pinching water.It's unforgivable and un-Australian.
In fact it might be a good time to add another commandment:"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours' rainwater tank,especially on alternate days".
And for the water wise there should be the promise of heavenly rewards - "blessed are they,for they shall inherit the dams" -or at least the right to water in their tea.
So if you could see your way clear to sending us some rain that would be great.Anytime would be good,but the sooner the better....and not just because we're 1-0 up in the Ashes.
Amen
Dear God,
Normally I'd be happy to offer up this as a spoken prayer,but just to be sure I feel I need to put it in writing.
Because I know you've had a lot on your mind lately,what with the state of the world and so many people needing your help with the big questions-war in Iraq,global warming,Third World poverty and getting those Ashes back from the Poms.
It's just that after 10 shocking,dry years I was sort of wondering if you might not have noticed that the old weather system seems to have ground to a halt here in Australia?
We haven't had any of that wet stuff.You know...what's it called..."rain" ? For yonks.
It's not as if there's not enough to go around-it seems it's just the distribution.
China and the Philippines have had a lot of floods recently and New Zealand,well,they never seem to miss out.
No wonder when it does rain here,our weather bureau calls it a rain"event" : it sure is.And worthy of a public holiday and some champers to celebrate.
I know patience is a virtue,but ours has become thinner than the ozone layer.
You're omniscient,so I don't have to tell you how dry it's been.But I will anyway.
It's been drier than a teetotallers' picnic.It's been so dry the fish have to take swimming lessons,the cattle are growing humps on their backs and the paddocks are sprouting spinifex.Teenagers are no longer wet behind the ears and farmers can't even muster a tear.
It's drier than a stale,sun-baked Savoy.I know places where it's so dry the only thing farmers can grow is dehydrated peas and the definition of luxury is having water in your tea.
One farmer I kow said it's been so long since he harvested a crop he can't remember where he left the reaper and binder.
If there is a rare shower the children run and hide,the ducks run for high ground and the frogs get such a fright they can't croak.
Don't get me wrong,though,the big dry hasn't been all bad.We've learned a hell of a lot about conserving water and how to get by with so little.
I know I have.I drive my family mad with my water-saving ideas.I admit it can be a nuisance finding change for the coin-operated shower and,yes,sometimes I'm not around when they need the key to the toilet,but these are hard times.
I hear no complaints from the dog,who is more than happy to save 10 buckets a week by drinking the washing-up water.
I've not only fixed the leaky taps-I've padlocked most of them.I've decommissioned the pond,confiscated the kids water pistols and mulched the wading pool.
I've ripped up my old thirsty garden and replaced it with my own mini Mallee.
But somehow I feel not everyone takes water saving as seriously.I see water wallies everywhere.And forgive me Lord,but I can't help thinking we should bring back public flogging or the stocks for all the water wasters.
There are still townies who think you gave them the right to hose their driveway at noon mid-February.Could you possibly arrange for a bolt of lightning to strike them where it hurts -right in the trigger nozzle?
For penance they should have to sweep their driveway with a toothbrush.
And maybe you could stone the plonkers responsible for setting those automatic water systems that you see merrily spurting water over golf courses and ovals after it does rain and for malfunctioning toilets that flush our hard-earned water savings,literally,down the pan.
Perhaps I could suggest a plague of locusts for those who leave the tap running while they clean their teeth,or those who rinse their teacup with enough water to wash an elephant?
Likewise those drongos who invented those supposed water-saving taps in public loos --you know,the ones that flow for a long time before turning off automatically?
I used one the other day,where you could have read the whole National Water Initiative in the time it took to turn off.
And while you're about it,could you strike down the next weather presenter who says it's going to be a beautiful day? Unless they're talking about a rain-bearing depression decending on the state.
But could you reserve you worst punishment for the worst,most un-Christian behaviour - I'm talking about pinching water.It's unforgivable and un-Australian.
In fact it might be a good time to add another commandment:"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours' rainwater tank,especially on alternate days".
And for the water wise there should be the promise of heavenly rewards - "blessed are they,for they shall inherit the dams" -or at least the right to water in their tea.
So if you could see your way clear to sending us some rain that would be great.Anytime would be good,but the sooner the better....and not just because we're 1-0 up in the Ashes.
Amen
posted by Bugs at 10:03 pm
1 Comments:
other ways to save water:
fast-food outlets, use less salt on chips (means you don't drink as much water)
eat cough-candy and sniff pepper. these make you cough and sneeze; collect the water vapour and use to water the plants in the garden.
alternatively, watch a romantic weepy movie and collect tears in an eggcup or similar container.
every little counts
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