Tips in case you forgot St.Valentine's Day

He loves me...he loves me not...he loves me...OW you're pulling my fur...he loves me not...

February 14


Happy Valentine's Day


For those who forgot the obligitory dozen roses,try celebrating the Ancient Roman way...
First, go with your friends to a local cave and sacrifice some goats and a dog. Find two young men of good breeding and smear their foreheads with your bloody knife, then wipe the blood off with wool soaked in milk. The youths must laugh during this.
Next, your whole party should run licentiously around town wearing the skins of said goats, and infertile townsfolk will come out on the streets to be belted by you with straps of goat-skin. This will help them have children.
At some appropriate juncture of your evening, arrange to have the names of all the females written on billets, put in a container and drawn out one at a time by the males. This will enable the sexes to pair off as lovers.


Or you could claim you're observing the day,in 1779, when the Polynesians humoured Captain Cook's naming of their land The Sandwich Islands(Hawaii) by recycling him into sandwich filling.


Or how,in 1876, Alexander Graham Bell applied for the patent of the telephone to keep you love birds in touch.Pity Elisha Gray applied for the same thing 2 hours too late.


You could save yourself by giving a copy of "Picnic at Hanging Rock",the novel by Aussie author Joan Lindsay, in which 3 girls go missing in mysterious circumstances on Feb 14 1900.


Offering to cook a casserole,shown in Melbourne for the first time in 1924,might save your bacon.


Impressing the significant other with your bank account will only work if you remind him/her decimal currency was introduced in Australia today in 1966.


Recalling Elton John married his sound engineer, Renate Blauel, at St Mark’s Church, Darling Point, New South Wales in 1984 won't win you brownie points,though.

Sorry I've been lax,still getting into a routine with homeschooling and I've been flat out like a lizard drinking!