(Bush) Fireworks for NYE.

While we're all out celebrating the end of 2006,spare a thought for firefighters and residents in Victoria and South Australia,who are still battling blazes.
According to the DSE site 30 new fires started today alone,mainly due to lightning strikes.
Further CFA updates are available here.
Someone didn't prepare the usual script for this chap who stated -
“The rain did a lot to quieten them down, but they're significant fires, there's a lot of fuel in the area and they will be going for some time. We're prepared for a long campaign.”
"A lot of fuel in the area" ???
Would that be the fuel that wasn't reduced by those supposedly managing our National Parks ?

Watch the birdies !

Away with the birds.

(This photo is from January this year,with fermented plums intoxicating the Lorikeets into posing for a close up )
The backyard is ominously quiet.
I've ventured out several times to get photos of the Lorikeets and cockatoos but not a one is to be found.
I've sat on the ground,still as a stone(so still in fact several ant colonies began negotiations to construct a nest under my left foot).
I sat quietly while the native(stingless) bees buzzed in my hair.
I sat not so quietly when the european bees(with stings) buzzed around my shirt(note to self-bees like the colour blue).
Magpies scratched in the dirt next to my elbow,one cheeky bugger even having a peck at my shirt(apparently they like blue too).I'm sure they thought me very rude for not responding to their inquizative squawks and I can only assume I'm no longer on their social register.
The Mynah birds are back in abundance,feeding their multitudes of offspring with stolen chook food,which means the Rainbow Lorikeets aren't within swooping distance.
They can be heard several yards away,probably feasting themselves silly on a red flowering gum in a neighbours' yard.
The cockatoos have disappeared completely,not a screech or a swoop to be had from them.
Perhaps they were having a rest stop yesterday,a time-out in their game of "let's get together and scare the bejebus outta the humans".
Are they gone for good ? Maybe not,maybe they've just popped over to visit the in-laws 3 suburbs away or are dive bombing the sea gulls at the beach before they get down to business of stripping every edible and non-edible tree,shrub,plant and house bits they can lay their beaks on .
But I'll be waiting for them !

Calling Bracksy the Ballarat Bludger ...

Bracksy maaaaaate !
Didn't you learn anything from those school kids you used to teach - that secrets will always out ?
Your secret pre-poll dam plan proves how much you really value the environment,if the chopping down of a 400 year old tree wasn't proof enough.
And how about that little port dredging project you jumped at ?
Geelong,Portland or Hastings Ports just might possibly be the better option,with the huge boost to the regional economies increased Port useage would bring.
But Bracksy maaaaate,we know by now you couldn't give a toss about regional or rural areas and economies,by sticking a toxic dump just 9 kms from residences.
And throwing $1.2 million to rural communities is merely crumbs compared to what is really needed.
Maaaaate,how about we take you camping in the Alpine area - you know,the one still burning - and we'll leave you locked up with the rest of the land you've appropriated from the public.

When death becomes an accident...

Can one be just a little annoyed with Parks Victoria ?
No,that would be like saying one is just a little bit pregnant.
Let's have a look at the latest effort at re-writing history.
A chap fighting a deliberately lit bushfire falls from the trailer he is riding in(in poor light and thick smoke) and is fatally run over by a following vehicle.
Don Dosser would not have been there but for the fact he was helping to fight bushfires.
It has been announced by Parks Victoria that "there have been NO FATALITIES during these current fires". It appears Mr. Dosser is now classed as a tragic traffic accident.
There will be NO coronial inquiry.
If they ever do arrest the arsonist,it will likely be argued that Mr. Dosser's death was a traffic accident and not as a consequence of the arson.
Where does this slippery slope lead to?
Will Parks Vic reclassify past and future fire deaths as "poor vehicle structural integrity" or "poor judgement / human error" or "non-authoritive supervised work area" or "lack of fuel reduction surrounding residences" or "poor firefighting management skills"...and simply hand ball the investigations to police,Work Safety,CFA management,local councils,etc ?
One must ask if the great $ is behind this latest decision.
Perhaps Parks Vic have an eye on their Public Liability Insurance premiums ?
Or maybe,just maybe, Parks Vic have heard the growing rumblings of the public demanding a Royal Commission into the lack of fuel reduction in the severely over-loaded forests,the locked and over-grown access trails,the refusal to use machinary,in some areas,to clear containment lines and maybe,just maybe they're practicing the age-old defensive maneuver of covering their arse.

Feathers flocking together.

Things are getting desperate.
Not only do we have the early arrival of Rainbow Lorikeets,packing squawking,demanding babies and eating my unripened fruit,but now.....the cockatoos have decended.
We have seen them passing overhead,in recent years,obviously searching for food elsewhere,but now....they've decended.
They are the drunken lout of the bird world.
They are the inebriated footy fan who loudly proclaims how their team is the better one,offering to fight any who disagree.The sort who has a few down at their local and proceeds to demolish rubbish bins,letter boxes and street signs on their way home.
The sort who sing Cold Chisel,Midnight Oil,The Angels,Uncanny X-Men and (on odd occasions) the Sex Pistols with Marilyn Manson,off-key LOUDLY at 5am.
Chattering and egging each on,they screech,squawk,perform acrobatics any Olympian would be proud of ("and that's a perfect score for the Feathered Fiends,here at the Backyard Olympics ,no loss of points from the judges for the competitors' swearing loudly in mid-swing").
They gleefully strip trees bare for fun.
They frolick while playing tag team tiggy between the trees,shrubs,roofs and the fence.
While Rainbow Lorikeets are welcomed for chasing away the introduced aggressive Mynah birds,the cockatoos have the loutish distinction of chasing the chooks under the lime tree and the magpies into areas unknown.
They cavort and carry on in everyone's yard,not recognising fence boundaries.A game could start 3 streets over and keep going through 20 backyards,ripping tree/shrub foliage to bits,with the spectators stopping off for a much needed drink in the chooks' water bowl,screeching the running scores as they go.
At least the house cats are staying indoors now.
At least the Galahs haven't arrived !!!!!!!!!!!

Drier than a dead dingoes' donger ?

Crikey things are crook in Tullarook,as the saying goes.
(Where is Tullarook and why were things so crook there ?)
But things are crook in the ACT,with the drought costing billions of moolah for ordinary households,with far-reaching consequences.
If Canberra,our Nations' Capital,is heading down the gurgler,someone better bung a plug in that hole before we're all drier than a dead dingoes' donger(just to put it into the crude vernacular).
At least the rain tank industry is witnessing a upsurge of employment and,creating some hope.
Steve Bracks,our infamous State Premier,aka Bracksy the Ballarat Bludger,has rubbed dry dust into householders' weeping eyes with his Water Police NOT investigating businesses wasting our drinking water AND ! Bracksy has been flushing the rivers with our rapidly shrinking drinking water supply to the tune of 30 billion litres since October.Rain dance anyone ?

Stuff and nonsense.

I sallied forth this morning,a woman on a mission.
Unfortunately my aim to become the next water producer in Victoria was thwarted by the local shop having only 1 water barrel in stock,many others having had the same idea as myself.So I bought my lone barrel,carried it home and then went window shopping,something I can only do when the feral tribe are otherwise entertained.
I found the newest edition of ReNew and Warm Earth mags,a small triumph to make up for the lack of barrels LOL.
Whilst perusing the latest issue of ReNew magazine I found a few interesting articles.
A full report on which is the best Green electricity supplier ,pros and cons of air-cons,laundry detergent round up findings,with additional info here,The Environment Shop has some new goodies in stock(we like shopping here !).
Very excited by a new website for DIY projects www.builditsolar.com something to keep me out of mischief and stop me from finding more things for Him Indoors to do around the cave lol.

Adventures up ladders.

Don't be a water wally or you'll join the ranks of the great unwashed masses,with The Water Police(not a harbour-side branch of the local constabulary) turning your water pressure down to a trickle.
It seems it's a case of "do as I say,not do as I do" with Govts concerning their own water useage,while we mere plebians are guilt-ridden into showering in a teacup.
Have you considered changing your name to that of your favourite characters? A mother and son have changed their names to that of Del Boy and Rodney Trotter,from "Only Fools and Horses".
I think the title sums it up quite sufficiently !
Praise pusskins each day,you never can tell when the furred feline will save your life.
Had to put tinsel into my nashi tree as the Rainbow Lorikeets have decided to munch on unripened fruit I've been lavishly toiling over.
Safety tip # 101 ...make sure there are no ladder-climbing moggies near by,or you'll end up juggling tinsel,a grip on ladder,a grip on tree and a moggie purring in your ear as it perches on your shoulders.
Several Lorikeets screeched angrily at me as I wobbled about in the foliage,but no nashi was hurt in the hanging of the tinsel.

GASP ! Climate change is NOT the cause of our drought.

This drought ISN'T caused by climate change,so says the head honchos at CSIRO.
So where does this leave us mere mortal non-politician type peoples?
The one's who don't have Green lawns?
Less than 15 years ago you'd have been lynched by your local council for daring to have a rainwater tank.These days the State Govt can't throw enough money at you to install one.Suppose it's cheaper than building a new dam.
So if this drought isn't climate induced,then the current bushfires are simply due to poor fuel reduction management ? Suppose it's cheaper to get volunteers to deal with the fires than to pay workers to prevent them.
And if the Thompson Dam catchment area is still currently burning(it is) despite Melb Water claiming "Melbourne Water invests about $1 million a year on fire prevention and suppression to protect the security and quality of our water supplies"...then where has the money gone and where HAVE they been reducing the fuel load ?????

The tough got going...and the fat lady aint singing yet.

RESIDENTS of Sheepyard Flat, in Victoria's northeast, are feeling abandoned by the state's emergency services after being forced to battle devastating bushfires alone.

Despite numerous pleas for help to the Department of Sustainability and Environment, Country Fire Authority and the police, locals in the tiny Howqua Valley community said they were left to their own devices without proper equipment to protect their homes since the fires started more than three weeks ago.
Residents were warned by authorities they should leave, but had banded together to fight the fires with the help of friends, family members and concerned locals from nearby Merrijig.

With just a farm truck, two four-wheel drives, two trailers, two water pumps, a rickety old bulldozer and a weed sprayer filled with water, exhausted residents saved up to 30 houses in the region from ruin. Buildings saved included depots belonging to the DSE and Parks Victoria -- the very organisations they feel have forsaken them.

Mountain cattleman and farmer Charlie Lovick said up to a dozen locals fought the inferno sweeping down the hills surrounding them without the help of external fire crews.

"After quite a few phone calls to the CFA and the DSE, we expected a full contingent to arrive," Mr Lovick said.

"Then we had the realisation they weren't going to help us . . . we were completely isolated."

Mr Lovick said he didn't understand why the emergency services had denied them help. "Being bush we know the extent of the fire -- I'm at a loss to understand how this could happen in Australia and I want answers."

Local landowner Lindsay Ingram said CFA and DSE management had knocked back requests for help because the organisations deemed it too dangerous to enter the area.

But that didn't stop a wildlife crew, accompanied by a DSE escort, from driving through the area to look for injured animals, Mr Ingram said.

"We weren't asking for much assistance, just four reasonably strong men who could help us pull the

heavy water-filled hoses and allow us to get some sleep," Mr Lovick said.

"The management of CFA and DSE are irresponsible -- the workers on the ground I have no qualms with," he said.

A DSE spokesman did not get back to the Herald Sun.

CFA deputy chief officer Craig Lapsley said local fire crews had looked at the area and believed it too dangerous to defend.

"The assessment made by crews was that we would be exposed significantly and we would see our trucks and crew potentially be injured," he said. "We are not in the game of leaving communities by themselves but this was the call we had to make in this situation."

Mr Lapsley said a review of the situation would be conducted based on current weather and fire conditions.

"We need to reassess our commitment to the communities," he said.

Battle-weary Sheepyard Flat residents welcomed the comments.

Despite a heavy downpour in Melbourne at Christmas, the alpine area had just 3mm.

"Given a few days or half a week, this monster will wake up again," Mr Lovick said.
http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,20979425-2862,00.html

Dragonfly Summer.

Found this dragonfly resting under the nashi tree.
Ever so pretty and delicate,the dragonflies are numerous in my yard this Summer.

Fat demanding baby birds.

My big fat fluffy magpie baby,s/he who can barely fly to the top of the paling fence.
This was a major achievement,worthy of a photo !
The maggies seem more scared of the chooks than us 2 legged beings.
Perhaps they have a genetic memory of chooks decending from T Rex and Raptors ?
Just realised why the Rainbow Lorikeets are so flighty - they've brought their babies which they are still feeding.
This is unusual,never seen the babies before,so I can only assume the heat ripening fruit/gum trees/seeds early ,not to mention the bushfires and smoke,have pushed them out of their usual feeding and behaviour patterns.
Still trying to get a pic of them,but they are more guarded than ever.
And we won't mention the digital camera batteries going flat at the moment they were in the frame LOL !!!

The scary people are breeding !!!

Found the following was a real letter to The Age newspaper,December 18.

Sydneysiders set a worthy example

WE HAVE followed The Age's letters with interest, having recently moved from Sydney. People in Melbourne don't understand how to save water. What's all this showering about? Forget about washing your entire body; don't shower at all. Hasn't anyone heard of a lavender sand bath? A children's sand pit is perfect for this.
As for flushing the loo, just don't flush. We've turned our water closet into an Australian native frog habitat. And when you need to go to the toilet — the compost bin and lemon tree are a great replacement. When the neighbours complain about the smell and flies, we reply: "Don't you know there's a drought?"

We're experimenting with a solar still, so that we can recycle our own wastes into drinking water. It's still brackish, so we don't give it to the kids. We now have a true xeriscape for a garden, concrete and proud.

Our children collect the grey water they produce at school and bring it home for the washing up. When it does rain, we send them to public buildings with a bucket. If you want to save water — get serious.

Roderick Marsh and Fleur Shand,

Brunswick West

And now for something completely different....

The silly season it certainly was.....

Santa caught a streaker..(everyone could tell whether he was naughty or nice).... while a student changes his name to Rolf Harris...(will he be tying his kangaroo down whilst painting the Queen's portrait?).....elsewhere women call an ambulance for piddly reasons...(broken nails are ALWAYS an emergency)....security guards tell a childrens' choir to shut up....(something I'm sure we've all felt an urge to do)....and finally something completely ridiculous....Boy George thinks The Only Gay in The Village,Matt Lucas, "isn't a good example of homosexuality"...yep a widely popular comedic genius without police convictions and living out and proud is such a baaaaaad person....bitter much Georgie Boy ?

Sheep,Birds,Fire and Thunderboxes!

Feeling like there's a bit of the farm missing in your life ?
Ever get the urge to go up the back paddock to crutch some sheep?
Now you can feel sheepish by adopting a New Zealand lamb and get that warm,woolly rush.
Perhaps I won't be imbibing of recycled effluent,after we woke to read of sewerage drink danger in our paper.Though I would still use it for every other purpose.
And those fires are still burning,despite the rain,cold and snow.Mother Nature is certainly making herself felt !
Cricket is ruling the idiot box by day but last night I was finally able to watch the Aussie movie "Kenny".A blink-and-miss-it cameo of Kaye Sera and JOY's own Brendan was a nice surprise,as was all of the footage of a past Pride March.Very clever and entertaining mockumentary,hope the Jacobson family have more up their collective sleeves to serve up in cinemas.
The whole plum tree was covered in the brilliant colours of Rainbow Lorikeets this morning but they're still too sober to let me take a pic of them.Fingers crossed the plums will ferment a tad more and we'll have drunken wildlife swinging from the branches for a photo opportunity!

Without Me (Shane Warne)

Guess who's back
Back again
Warney's back
Text a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back
guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back..


I've created a monster, cause nobody wants to see Boony no more
They want Warney, Border's chopped liver
Well if you want Warney, this is what I'll give ya
A diuretic mixed with some hard liquor
Some VB to jump start my heart quicker
than the shocks when I get shocked at the nets
when the batter when I'm not co-operating
When I'm rockin the pitch while he's operating
You waited this long, now stop debating
Cause I'm back, I'm on the baked beans and masticating
I know that you got a job Mr. Flintoff
but your leadership problem's complicating
So the MCC won't let me be
or let me be me, so let me see
They try to shut me down at the MCG
But it feels so empty, without me
So, come on and dip, VB on your lips
Bugger that, zinc on your nose, cricket creams on your hips
And get ready, cause this wicket's about to get heavy
I just settled all my lawsuits, damn you Mummy!

Chorus:
Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me
Cause we need a little, controversy
MCG feels so empty, without me
I said-this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me
Cause we need a little, controversy
MCG feels so empty, without me

Chunky tap water anyone ?

Would you drink recycled sewerage ?
According to a poll,most people would drink it.
While I can agree to have it piped into homes for watering gardens,washing clothes,cars,flushing the thunderbox,etc, I'm more than slightly uncomfortable with the thought of recycled drugs and goodness knows what entering my cup of tea each morning after yellow lettuces and damaged golf greens were investigated through use of recycled sewerage water.
Ironic Melbourne water held meetings with concerned golf clubs but no mention of food grown for human consumption.

Season's greetings and sleeeeep.

Hooray !
Survived another December 25 intact :)
After a fantastic all-night stint on JOY we enjoyed listening to Dino with Dennis and Dick and the delightful Harriet joining them.
Danced all the way home in the rain,what a lovely Christmas pressie from on high !
Let it snow seemed to be the theme tune for the whole state,with Firefighters celebrating a white Christmas where they'd been struggling against massive walls of fire in hellish heat barely 1 week ago.
Slept for 2 hours,cooked the meal for the starving hoards of feral family members,dressed my newly restored dining table,locked the Treacle pup in the bedroom(much to her disgust) then feasted with cheery company...we had the radio tuned into JOY of course !
Jocularity,fun and an early night was had by all.

Not all water is the same.

Market gardeners are banned from using bore water,forced to use recycled water to grow our food but the spa and pool industry can drill for new bores for recreation ??
Yellow lettuce
Bore water for pools

As Orwell once wrote "all animals are equal,but some are more equal than others" and so it seems politicians are not covered by the water restrictions we lesser mortals must endure
Parliament stays green

Can we assume our pollies are also above eating our yellowing lettuces ?

Wildlife Victoria inc. Bushfire Emergency Appeal

Bushfire Emergency Appeal

For Credit Card donations please ring or Mandy on 0421 471 007 or Wendy on 0439 611 959 or Irena on 9481 5761 or Sandy on 0431 478 081. Or mail your donations to 247 Flinders Lane, Melbourne 3000. Please do not call these numbers for volunteering, see below.

Victoria has already experienced disasterous wildfire and we estimate thousands of animals have already lost their lives. Our wildlife shelters are on alert and have already started making preparations for the fire season, animals have already started coming in to our volunteers and we are giving them the best possible care after their stressful escapes.
With your support we can save more wildlife and give them the best possible opportunity of surviving this terrible season. Wildlife Victoria needs blankets, pillowslips and towels. We need medical or veterinary supplies and we need money.

Email Sarah to arrange to drop off goods or download a donation form to make a donation to help up during this coming season. Download and print posters to put up your local area to help us with our appeal.

For donations of medical supplies email Viv with the subject line 'Bushfire 2006 enquiry'; include your name and address in the email (H) 03 9569 4292 (M) 0434 404 181.

To volunteer your time please email Cheryl or phone her on 5825 2114. Please note that if you do not have a current license to care for injured wildlife you will not be able to help us in that way. If you are a current wildlife shelter and are ready and prepared to take injured wildlife, or you want to register your shelter to take volunteer helpers during the fires please contact Cheryl.

For further information
http://www.wildlifevictoria.org.au/

Grey water diverter and barrels.

This is the grey water diverter we use - easily installed into the inspection points of waste water pipes. * inspection points are found on the elbows of the pipes,a square shape inside a round screw-out section.
The grey water diverter funnel part folds up on itself to fit inside the pipe until it's able to flare out fully,capturing the waste water before it goes down the gurgler.
Garden hoses are attached to the end of the grey water diverter,of any length you wish and can put moved around the garden to send waste water to whatever you want.
*NB !! Kitchen and bathroom waste should NOT be used directly on edible plants like vegies due to contaminates,but may be used on fruit trees which filter the water through the soil and root systems.
These cost approx.$5 from hardware stores and,after trialling several other versions,are the best for performance,reliability,ease of use and cost.
Our local hay and grain store has 150 litre black plastic barrels which were used to transport pickled onions/gherkins from India.Cost is $20 each and, after a thorough wash out,work very well to catch the over-flow from our main tank.
A hole is easily drilled into the lower part to insert a brass water tap and washers,to draw off water whenever you wish.
Each can be connected to the other by drilling a hole near the top and inserting a fixed(not flexible)pipe to feed the water into the next barrel.Silicon sealant to seal around the joins.
We have 10 connected to each other and another 10 coming in the New Year.
The barrels can look quite ugly but we have attached lengths of bamboo fencing to the outside of them and it disguises them very well.

Trees 'n' things

This is a pic of my Coral tree.Apparently it's of a "great age" according to an arborist/tree surgeon a few years ago,and unusual to be in a suburban backyard.
It's just always been there,sprouting it's brilliant red flowers..and thorns !
This pic shows how the heat burnt one group of flowers but left the other alone.
Just a tad peed off as the seed pods were FINALLY being produced -this tree has never had seed pods on it.(just like the gum tree on our nature strip has NEVER flowered in my lifetime...but this year it is).
Extreme weather affects Australian natives I understand this,but the fact a severe drought in the suburbs was needed for a gum tree to flower shows how natives were planted willy-nilly outside of their own regional habitats years ago.
AND another tree with strange behaviours is my 60-something year old holly tree.Well actually it's my Nan's holly tree but I keep the thing alive for her as she isn't.
This tree was grown from a cutting from Sir Billy Hughes' holly tree at his Mt.Evelyn home.Some might say the tree gave more to Australia than the former PM ever did-meow !
But the holly tree has changed sex - I think.It's gone from a male holly tree with sharp pointy leaves without flowers to a ?female with round-tipped leaves and producing flowers which don't quite become berries.Not being conversant with holly trees in general,I'm merely guessing the drought has changed it's behaviour.
The pear tree is loaded with fruit at the moment,which we're watering religiously with our grey and tank water.After the damaging frosts which ruined so much of Vic fruit,we're fawning over our fruit trees like zealots !
The plums were ripened too early by the recent heat and while they're an ok size,they are only half as big as they usually grow(yes I'm being a size queen now !).
Rainbow Lorikeets finally made an appearance yesterday - been expecting them for some weeks,with the fires destroying their feeding areas.Think they're snacking on a neighbours'red flowering gum 2 doors up the street and keeping our plums in reserve ..though several popped over to check out the produce section lol.
Maggies are gathering in increasing numbers,putting out extra water and food for the chooks,as whatever they leave gets gobbled by the magpies.One fat,over stuffed juvenile maggie can barely get off the ground,he/she's so fat LOL.But they've got a curious nature and none have swooped us(touch wood)even though we walk quite close to them.
The screeching neighbour diagonally over the back fence has gone very silent.The renovations have finished(at last yay no more Cold Chisel at 6am!!) and all is quiet...

Garden round up

Black Russian Tomatoes ready before Xmas !
YES!!!!! I have reached gardening Nirvana !!!! Tomatoes ripe before December 25 !!!!
(You can't see me doing the gardening rumba happy dance right at this moment,which is probably a fortunate thing for you !).
Black Russian Tomatoes,an heirloom variety,are actually a darker red than this pic shows...the flash brightened them somewhat.Have been picking cherry tomatoes for about a week now,since that yuk hot weather last week.But cherry tomatoes don't count anymore.
Cabbage the young chook perched upon her gate-keepers perch,threatening us with a splat! each time we venture through the lytch gate.She's perched up there every night...think she got a fright last week with the rain,as she's not had much of the wet stuff falling out of the sky at her in her lifetime.No eggs falling from on high either.
Beatrice the matron chook,snuggled into her hen house.The passionfruit vine is no longer her hidey hole for eggs and she's corrupted young Cabbage into laying the bum-nuts elsewhere too.Will conduct the weekly egg hunt again tomorrow,with the help of the Treacle pup,if she hasn't indulged in too much fairy bread of late.
Word on the web grapevine is that the Thompson catchment is blazing away and likely to keep burning for months to come.Water restrictions likely to get nasty,fast and water quality very likely to get plain nasty.
Plotting and planning more water barrels - which might hold 150 litres each IF we ever get rain!

If these fires ever get put out....

...there will be people who have lost most/all their belongings,property,stock,assets,etc.
I'll have a hunt around in the next few days to see if there are organisations that already have things in hand to fund raise and/or take donated goods for fire effected people.
There's talk these fires won't be out til after Xmas and everyone is already exhausted from battling these monstrous blazes.
Some fluckin morons deliberately lit the fire at Coopers Creek - the fire that wiped out people's homes...the fires that a chappie was fighting when he was accidentally killed.
Also word on the web is that the CEO of Parks Vic can veto ANY fuel reduction attempts by DSE...hmm anyone got the CEO's number to ask exactly WHY fuel reduction measures would be vetoed in the first place ?
What a dreadful Xmas for those in the fire areas and those fighting on the fire front.....
Santa Claus is wearing fluro yellow and carrying a hose this Christmas.

Political chickens

Am worried about Beatrice.
I think global warming has got to my chook.
She's not laying any eggs ; not Brown,Howard-hued or even Rudd-y.
She's spending too much time in the green shade of the passionfruit vine...altho she IS gobbling up a stray Green... bug.
Of course it can't be simple moulting or heat putting her off her stroke.
Dry,dusty,smokey,filthy...that's just the vegie patch with the twee Green goblins under the mushrooms...or are the rumours true and they're IN the mushrooms?
Tried playing some music to soothe the feather duster but the Oils garbled ideas just made her hide even more.
Could try some Budgie smuggling Teddy boy but I don't think Elvis impersonators are her cup of tea either.
Water tanks are getting low...almost as low as the Thompson,but don't I feel good knowing my tanks aren't hurting the still flowing Murray ?! Firefighters trying to protect the Thompson from fire...I'm sure everyone in the Alpine areas appreciate the urgent need to secure Melbourne's drinking water.Those lattes aren't made from mud y'know !
Over 400 firefighters injured in Vic bushfires so far.And just because they're trying to contain a fire fuelled with decades of rubbish.. dumped mainly from Spring St.
Must go...there's a mob of cattle busting to graze the Alpine areas but we can't let them in...they might reduce the scrub and grass !

Dance Sport !?

Dance Sport !
What ever happened to good old fashioned Dancing ?
When did the waltz become a endurance marathon and will The Olympic Committee start to organise Games for it ?
Will we see Thorpey maxing out his muscles in the Samba,going for a PB time ?
Or Jana Pitman pulling out of the foxtrot with a bung knee ?
Could we see a return of the great Raelene Boyle hurdling over Todd McKenny in the Jive ?
Will the Mexican Hatdance make the grade or will Mexico protest to the Dance Sport Committee?
When oh when will they bring polka music and barn dancing into the international arena of Dance Sport?
Who wouldn't watch,with baited breath,to see Shane Warne doe-see-doe his current SMS flame around the straw strewn floor(just like he does every other Saturday night in the local village barn).
Soon we'll have Official State Dances and National Dance,but somehow I doubt we'll ever see the Budgie Smugglers Leaping Across The Hot Beach Sand Dance...or not in our living memory.
Will we see mascots of each Dance Sport Team ?
The Waltzing Wombat ?
The Quickstepping Quokka?
Or even Blinky the Ballroom Brawling Dropbear?

Aussie Citizenship Test

Here's one we prepared earlier - perhaps we could pass it along to Bonsai Howard ;)

Application for Grant of Australian Citizenship
You must answer 75% (28 or more out of 37) of these questions correctly in order to qualify for Australian Citizenship

1.How many slabs can you fit in the back of a Falcon Ute while also allowing room for your cattle dog?

2.When packing an Esky do you put the ice, or the beer, in first?

3.Is the traditional Aussie Christmas dinner:

a)At least two roasted meats with roast vegetables, followed by a pudding you could use as a cannonball. Also ham. In 40C heat.
b)A seafood buffet followed by a barbie, with rather a lot of booze. And ham. In 40C heat.
c)Both of the above, one at lunchtime and one at dinnertime. Weather continues fine.

4.How many beers in a slab?

5.You call that a knife, this is a knife.

True or False?

6.Does “yeah-nah” mean

a) “Yes and no”
b)"Maybe"
c)"Yes I understand but No I don’t agree”?

7.The phrases “strewth” and “flamin’ dingo” can be attributed to which TV character?

a)Toadie from Neighbours
b)Alf from Home & Away
c)Agro from Agro’s Cartoon Connection
d)Sgt. Tom Croydon from Blue Heelers?

8.When cooking a barbecue do you turn the sausages

a)Once or twice
b)As often as necessary to cook
c)After each stubby
d)Until charcoal?

9.Name three of the Daddo brothers.

10.Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC?

11.Which option describes your ideal summer afternoon:

a)Drinking beer at a mate’s place
b)Drinking beer at the beach
c)Drinking beer watching the cricket/footy
d)Drinking beer at a mate’s place while watching the cricket before going to the beach?

12.Would you eat pineapple on pizza? Would you eat egg on a pizza?

13.How many cans of beer did David Boon consume on a plane trip from Australia to England?

14.How many stubbies is it from Brissy to the Gold Coast in a Torana travelling at 120km/h?

15.Who are Scott and Charlene?

16.How do you apply your tomato sauce to a pie?

a)Squirt and spread with finger
b)Sauce injection straight into the middle?

17.If the police raided your home would you:

a)Allow them to rummage through your personal items
b)Phone up the nearest talkback radio shock jock and complain
c)Put a written complaint in to John Howard and hope that he answers it personally?

18.Which Australian Prime Minister held the world record for drinking a yardie full of beer the fastest?

19.Have you ever had/do you have a mullet?

20.Thongs are:

a)Skimpy underwear
b)Casual footwear
c)They’re called jandals, bro?

21.On which Ashes tour did Warney’s hair look the best?

a) 1993
b) 1997
c) 2001
d) 2005

22.What someone is more likely to die of:

a)Red Back Spider
b)Great White Shark
c)Victorian Police Officer
d)King Brown Snake
e)Your missus after a big night
f)Dropbear?

23.How many times must a steak be turned on a conventional four-burner barbie?

24.Can you sing along to Cold Chisel’s Khe Sanh?

25.Explain both the “follow-on” and “LBW” rules in cricket and discuss the pros and cons for the third umpire decisions in the latter....

26.Name at least 5 items that must be taken to a BBQ.

27.Who is current Australian test cricket captain:

a)Ricky Ponting
b)Don Bradman
c)John Howard
d)Makybe Diva?

28.Is it best to take a sick day on:

a)When the cricket’s on
b)When the cricket’s on
c)When the cricket’s on?

29.What animal is on the Bundaberg Rum bottle?

30.What is the difference between a pot and a middy of beer?

31.What are Budgie smugglers?

32.What brand and size of Esky will you be purchasing?

33.Did you cry when Molly died on a Country Practice?

34.A “Hoppoate” is:

a)A breed of kangaroo
b)A kind of Australian “wedgie”
c)A disgraced Rugby League player?

35.What does having a ‘chunder’ mean?

36.When you were young did you prefer the Hills Hoist over any swing set?

37.What does the terminology ‘True Blue’ mean?

Real Aussie heros wear fluro yellow ...

Our real Aussie heros are the volunteer firefighters battling heat,filth,smoke,fatigue and flames with only a feeling of a job well done as their reward.
And the overwhelming gratitude from everyone.

Another interesting read in the current climate of the devastating bushfires -
http://www.jennifermarohasy.com/blog/archives/001781.html
An extract of the article, from the Executive Director of the Australian Environment Foundation, reads -

The following is an extract of a paper that Hodgson delivered to The Eureka Forum in Ballarat in 2004:

Another top priority is to restore prescribed burning programs in forests. Immediately after the Ash Wednesday fires in 1983 the Government injected $1 million extra into the programs effectively doubling the money available for field staff to do the work. Yet the programs crashed. In 1992 the Auditor General found that the Department of Conservation and Environment had failed to achieve its planned fuel-reduction targets in three consecutive seasons and that those areas the Department identified as warranting the highest level of protection to human life, property and public assets received the lowest level of protection. And in 2003 the Auditor General found that since 1994, fuel reduction burning has never met the Department's planning and operational fuel-reduction targets. In allowing that to happen, the Department ignored the truism heralded by Judge Stretton in 1939, repeated by Sir Esler Hamilton Barber in 1977 and further reinforced by the Miller Report on the Ash Wednesday fires in 1983, that fire prevention must be the paramount consideration of the forest manager.

The Government and the Department must lift their game. They must do so, not only in places where the priority is to protect life and assets. Those places are a very small proportion of the forest estate and to concentrate on them to the exclusion of the rest of the forests will lead inevitably to more feral fires. Prescribed burning has been done successfully in the past on broad areas to create forest diversity and reduce the damaging effects of wildfires. The practice had little community and no political support from the mid-1980's until 2003 and was the reason why fuel management programs crashed in that era. That support must be won and the practice reinstated in our forests in a safe way.

Possum pie anyone?

Came across an interesting article.
The link is here http://www.jennifermarohasy.com/blog/archives/2006_11.html
but you have to scroll down the page.Also has many interesting comments.
I'll copy the article here -

November 09, 2006
Possums Killing River Red Gums: A Note from Michael O'Brien
Dear Jennifer,

I was reading your blogs criticising the misrepresentation of the facts surrounding the Murray river floodplains and death of river red gums. I own a property on the Murray river floodplains, downstream of Echuca. My property has river red gum wetlands that have quite naturally not recieved any flooding since 1995.

For the last 15 years my red gum wetland and many other red gum wetlands in the region have suffered massive decline in tree health and in some instances all of the trees have been killed. It is changing the look of the landscape and is quite obviously a regional catastrophe.

But what is the cause? Ask any of the experts and they insist it is "drought", but in my district the average rain for the past 15 years has only been slightly below the long term average and in reality the redgums have probably had as much flooding as they ever did in dry periods.

The actual cause of the tree death is something much more cute and cuddly, common brush-tailed possum's. Brush-tailed possums are abundant in these hollow redgums. At times I have spotted up to 15 mature possums in one tree. Each summer the trees grow a few leaves and then for the remainder of the year the possums strip them clean. The trees can only take about three years of this kind of constant bombardment before they die. From the 200 large trees within my wetland at least 75% have died in the last 10 years, and the remainder are in poor health.

Prior to European settlement in the area, the local Aboriginals heavilly utilized brush-tailed possums for food, clothing etcetera. So much so that one of the early pastoralists in the area referred to them as the "possum-eaters".

As an experiment I possum guarded a number of random trees last November.

The following photograph I took this morning of one of the possum- guarded trees. The trees in the photograph were all in similar health at the time of guarding last November.

Possum attack is a widespread problem in the Murray flood plains now that possums are unable to be utilized and managed, and probably explains a lot of the premature death of red gums that people are witnessing in this natural dry period.

Regards,
Michael O'Brien

Prayer for a rainy day by Xavier Duff

Taken from The Weekly Times newspaper December 6.
Dear God,
Normally I'd be happy to offer up this as a spoken prayer,but just to be sure I feel I need to put it in writing.
Because I know you've had a lot on your mind lately,what with the state of the world and so many people needing your help with the big questions-war in Iraq,global warming,Third World poverty and getting those Ashes back from the Poms.
It's just that after 10 shocking,dry years I was sort of wondering if you might not have noticed that the old weather system seems to have ground to a halt here in Australia?
We haven't had any of that wet stuff.You know...what's it called..."rain" ? For yonks.
It's not as if there's not enough to go around-it seems it's just the distribution.
China and the Philippines have had a lot of floods recently and New Zealand,well,they never seem to miss out.
No wonder when it does rain here,our weather bureau calls it a rain"event" : it sure is.And worthy of a public holiday and some champers to celebrate.
I know patience is a virtue,but ours has become thinner than the ozone layer.
You're omniscient,so I don't have to tell you how dry it's been.But I will anyway.
It's been drier than a teetotallers' picnic.It's been so dry the fish have to take swimming lessons,the cattle are growing humps on their backs and the paddocks are sprouting spinifex.Teenagers are no longer wet behind the ears and farmers can't even muster a tear.
It's drier than a stale,sun-baked Savoy.I know places where it's so dry the only thing farmers can grow is dehydrated peas and the definition of luxury is having water in your tea.
One farmer I kow said it's been so long since he harvested a crop he can't remember where he left the reaper and binder.
If there is a rare shower the children run and hide,the ducks run for high ground and the frogs get such a fright they can't croak.
Don't get me wrong,though,the big dry hasn't been all bad.We've learned a hell of a lot about conserving water and how to get by with so little.
I know I have.I drive my family mad with my water-saving ideas.I admit it can be a nuisance finding change for the coin-operated shower and,yes,sometimes I'm not around when they need the key to the toilet,but these are hard times.
I hear no complaints from the dog,who is more than happy to save 10 buckets a week by drinking the washing-up water.
I've not only fixed the leaky taps-I've padlocked most of them.I've decommissioned the pond,confiscated the kids water pistols and mulched the wading pool.
I've ripped up my old thirsty garden and replaced it with my own mini Mallee.
But somehow I feel not everyone takes water saving as seriously.I see water wallies everywhere.And forgive me Lord,but I can't help thinking we should bring back public flogging or the stocks for all the water wasters.
There are still townies who think you gave them the right to hose their driveway at noon mid-February.Could you possibly arrange for a bolt of lightning to strike them where it hurts -right in the trigger nozzle?
For penance they should have to sweep their driveway with a toothbrush.
And maybe you could stone the plonkers responsible for setting those automatic water systems that you see merrily spurting water over golf courses and ovals after it does rain and for malfunctioning toilets that flush our hard-earned water savings,literally,down the pan.
Perhaps I could suggest a plague of locusts for those who leave the tap running while they clean their teeth,or those who rinse their teacup with enough water to wash an elephant?
Likewise those drongos who invented those supposed water-saving taps in public loos --you know,the ones that flow for a long time before turning off automatically?
I used one the other day,where you could have read the whole National Water Initiative in the time it took to turn off.
And while you're about it,could you strike down the next weather presenter who says it's going to be a beautiful day? Unless they're talking about a rain-bearing depression decending on the state.
But could you reserve you worst punishment for the worst,most un-Christian behaviour - I'm talking about pinching water.It's unforgivable and un-Australian.
In fact it might be a good time to add another commandment:"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours' rainwater tank,especially on alternate days".
And for the water wise there should be the promise of heavenly rewards - "blessed are they,for they shall inherit the dams" -or at least the right to water in their tea.
So if you could see your way clear to sending us some rain that would be great.Anytime would be good,but the sooner the better....and not just because we're 1-0 up in the Ashes.
Amen

Garlic chooks

Whoopee !
Just thought I'd start the entry with a big intro....coz that's about as exciting as it gets .
The chooks are being "garlic-ed" at the moment.
No I'm not pre-seasoning them,it's a natural food for worming them.
Except now the chooks'yard smells like a mad pizza chefs dungeon.
The magpies are rather partial to a little garlic although the mynah birds find it a bit strong ...sad and sorry sight of a mynah bird guzzling into chook food only to stop mid-gulp and throw itself into the water bowl.
Thankfully I wasn't forced to give it mouth-to-beak(sheesh after all THAT garlic I'd be knocked out !).
Have covered the vegie patch with shade cloth,to diminish the heat and the evaporation from the soil.
Also have sunk tins with holes in them into the soil surrounding the vegies,so that the water gets straight to the roots,rather than sit on the top 5 mm of soil.Much more efficient and water saving.
No rain on the radar til next week.
Total fire ban tomorrow.
Bushfires everywhere.
If anyone knows the secret of the rain dance,please don't feel shy ,we won't spin the mirror ball if it puts you off...although we can play "It's raining men","Here comes the rain again","Purple rain","I love a rainy night","Blue eyes crying in the rain","Bring on the rain","Buckets of rain", or any rain song of your choice to get you in the mood.