Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Pink milk



January 31

Happy Birthday...

1872 Zane Grey author of popular adventure novels that presented an idealized image of the rugged Old West.A world-champion angler, he regularly came to Australia for deep-sea fishing, catching a world-record 470 kg(1,036lb) Tiger Shark off Sydney in 1936, but he usually fished out of Bermagui,NSW.He published 54 books, one of which was An American Angler in Australia.

1938 Queen Beatrix of The Netherlands(not the Potty..er,Potter gal)

1956 Johnny Rotten(The Sex Pistols)

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1804 Scotland: Lighting of the Beacons Festival – particularly commemorated at St.Boswells,due to a drinking party which ran from the Ancrum Bridge public house on this day after spotting the false alarm (of hilltop fire signals) warning of a French invasion.(hic Hic hooray?)

1936 The Green Hornet premiered on radio in USA.

1955 RCA introduced the world's first musical synthesiser.(and gave us classics like Popcorn)

1990 The first McDonalds opened in Moscow,Russia

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Pink Milk from cows.....ahh the Pink Panther strikes again.

Man kept contact lenses in for a year....whoops they've left the cage door open again.

Number plate of love.....yep it rates up there with electric drills,tv remotes,6 pack of beer and car seat covers for romantic gifts.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Bon Appetit you cow riding poets.

English Brekkie - 2,4,6,8, bog in,don't wait!






January 30


Happy Birthday


1930 Gene Hackman actor


1937 Vanessa Redgrave British actress


1941 Dick Cheney Vice President aka Quick Draw McGraw


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1818 Michael Massey Robinson was awarded 2 cows from the government herd for services as Poet Laureate of NSW,Aust.(wow a whole 2 cows. sure beats that pesky money stuff)


1820 Antarctica discovered Edward Bransfield poking around it's edges.


1933 The Lone Ranger debuted on American radio (hi ho Silver ! Away! What's this "we" white man?)


1958 Yves Saint Laurent held his first fashion show(and broke many a bank account since)


1961 the contraceptive pill went on sale in the UK( yippee)


1966 Prince Charles arrived in Australia to attend Timbertop,an exclusive school(the Drop Bears didn't get him)


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Jockey's raise $125,000 riding heifers.......sounds like the horses I usually back in the Melb Cup.


Man marries himself.....a match made to last!


Volunteer to have full English brekkie tattooed on head.....afternoon tea will be served on the torso,dinner will be round the back and supper is for those with a strong stomach!



Monday, January 29, 2007

Opera houses and amputatable erections ouch!

Wil Anderson-talented funnyman turns 33 and keeps his willy.


January 29th
Feast day of St.Gildas,Scottish abbot.St.Gildas was the son of Can King of the Britons and with his 24 brothers was at war with King Arthur.(if King Arthur was mythical I’m assuming St.Gildas was just another Dallas dream sequence)

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Happy Birthday

1850 Lawrence Hargrave -Aussie explorer,engineer,astronomer,aeronautical pioneer and inventor of The Box Kite.( he was obsessed with the size of his boxes)
1939 at 68 Germaine Greer is still a eunuch
1945 the great mustachioed one Tom Selleck ripens a little more at 62
1954 She of the popular talk show Oprah Winfrey might jump on her own couch at 53
1974 Wil Anderson-Aussie comedian,TV and radio host.(class-that's what I'm talkin' about Shannon Noll).

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1845 The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe was first published (again with the ravens!)
1886 Karl Benz patented the first gasoline driven automobile (oh that will NEVER last)
1916 Britain began trials of the tank(bet that will make tracks on history)
1957 Danish architect Jorn Utzon was named winner of the competition to design the Sydney Opera House (like the swans he based his design upon,he eventually went north to escape the Winter of the NSW govt)
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WINCE WARNING if you read further.....
Convict steals car to get back to jail.....hands up who's surprised this happened in Ireland?
Gnomeville massacre.....pink flamingos and elderly tyre swans are main suspects.
Mozart to have his penis amputated.....he wasn't playing piano with that appendage,at least I don't think so.....

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Talking Fish and Mirrors beyond repair

The one that got away was THIS big.
January 28
Happy Birthday
1857 William Seward Burroughs,inventer of the calculator(and to whom mathematicians give daily thanks)
1873 Gabrielle French novelist.Colette (Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette), was born in the French village of Saint-Sauveur-en-Puisaye. Her career began by her ghostwriting stories for her author-husband ‘Willy’ who locked her in a room until she finished each assignment.(probably her only freedom from such a dick..er,Willy)

1912 Jackson Pollack - artist inventer of dripping painting(but previously invented by 2 year olds with too much red cordial on board)
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1754 Horace Walpole in a letter to Sir Horace Mann, explained how he coined the word ‘serendipity’. He said that he based it on the title of a fairy story, The Three Princes of Serendip, because the princes "were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things they were not in quest of". (how serendipitious for him)
1887 a snowstorm in Keogh, Montana,USA,the largest snowflakes on record were reported. They were 38cm(15 inches)wide and 20cm (8 inches) thick(breed 'em big in Montana)
1939 German physicist Otto Hahn had succeeded in splitting the atom.(but he was able to glue it back together without a hitch)
2003 The case of the talking carp
According to two fish-cutters at the New Square (30 miles north of Manhattan, New York) Fish Market, they were about the slaughter a 20-pound carp to make into gefilte fish for Sabbath dinner, when it suddenly began shouting apocalyptic warnings in Hebrew.
At 4 pm, Zalmen Rosen, a 57-year-old Hasidic father of eleven, and his co-worker, Luis Nivelo, a Gentile who does not understand Hebrew, were about to club the carp on the head when it began yelling “Tzaruch shemirah” and “Hasof bah”, which, according to the shop owner, essentially means that everyone must account for themselves because the end is near. (I blame it on global warming myself)
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Batman's Joker gets Dutch ID .....quick to the Batbed Robin,Joker's threatened the world with Dutch Ovens!
Love park to open in Italy.....and here I thought the local park was for that purpose!
2,500 year old mirror dropped on TV ......you can run,but you can't hide !


Saturday, January 27, 2007

They call him Mr.Personality because he's so ugly...


January 27
98 BC Roman Emporer Nerva died of apoplexy after a fit of anger.(see ! anger causes death AND wrinkles!)
1606 Guy Fawkes was tried and convicted.(Guy Fawkes was the only person to enter parliament with honest intentions!)
1926 John Logie Bairds demonstrated the first television broadcast(today reality television demonstrates degenerate idiocy)
1984 Michael Jackson's hair burst into flames while filming a Pepsi commercial(he hasn't been too hot since)
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Ferrets frolic up trouser leg .....ok now things just got a little weird.
Vegetarian dons lettuce bikini....yep they're getting weirder.
Teacher photocopied students face....because finger painting was outlawed again?
Cat and mouse case for cops.....you dirty rat!

Friday, January 26, 2007

Aussie! Aussie ! Aussie ! Oi,Oi,Oi !

Showing size comparisons between Aust & USA.



January 26 Australia Day !
January 26, Australia Day (a public holiday), commemorates the day in 1788 on which Captain Arthur Phillip organised and officiated at the first ceremony of the new British colony then called New South Wales.It was for a selected few, done with a little pomp, but generally low key, and was mainly to wish the colony good luck, as was recorded by Phillip:
"In the evening of the 26th, the colours were displayed on shore, and the Governor, with several of his principal officers and others, assembled around the flagstaff, drank the King’s health, and success to the settlement, with all the display of form which, on such occasions, is deemed propitious because it enlivens the spirits and fills the imagination with pleasing presages."
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1808 Australia's so-called Rum-Rebellion the only successful (if only temporarily so) armed takeover of government in Australia's history, precipitated by the Governor of NSW William Bligh and leading to his arrest in a virtual coup d'etat, or at least a mutiny (Bligh's second, after the Bounty)...ahhh rum ! damn good reason for anarchy !
1818 The first ‘Australia Day’ holiday.
1972 A large pop festival was held at Sunbury, Victoria over the Australia Day long weekend(Aussie version of Woodstock)
1972 In the early hours of the morning, a group of Aboriginal activists set up the ‘Aboriginal tent Embassy’ on the lawns of Parliament House, Canberra, Australia(still there today)
1994 a man fired 2 blank shots at Charles,Prince of Wales in Sydney(he's promised to improve his aim)
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Man washed down storm drain ....they got some big holes in the ground in Brisvegas!
Man pulls car with ears....contrary to rumours,Prince Charles was nowhere in sight.
Dairy farmers use milk cartons to get dates.....fancy a friendly frolic with a farmer?

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Foxy haggis.



January 25

Burns' Day - all over the world Scots will gather tonight for the annual Burns' Supper,to honour the life and works of their national poet Robert Burns,born today in 1759.Dining delights such as cabble claw,finnan toasties and haggis will be partaken of.

Happy Birthday...

1858 John Norton English-born Australian member of parliament,demogogue,psychopath,meglomaniac and probable murderer.He once stated "Only John Norton,Caesar and Napoleon have the right to be bald,rich and do as they like."

1874 William Somerset Maugham isn't hanging on The Razor's Edge at 133

1882 at 125 years Virginia Woolf is still counting The Hours

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1753 Ruth Pierce dropped dead.

On this day young Ruth Pierce and three friends got together to buy a sack of wheat. Each paid up, but Ruth held back. Insisting that she had paid her share, she said “may I drop dead if I have not”. She repeated this awful wish then fell down and died, with the money hidden in her hand. This story is recorded on a stone monument in the Market Square at Devizes, Wiltshire, England.

1904 In Britain it became illegal to shoot a longbow without the monarch’s permission(damn there go the fun Sunday afternoons)

1955 The USSR decreed that it was no longer at war with Germany(I'm sure the Germans were very pleased to hear that tit-bit)

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Man to sell his life for $18,000.......cheaper than bringing up a baby!

Woman takes potty break and falls in lake....I'm guessing she wasn't dunkin' donuts.

Fox goes shoe shopping...obviously in training for "Fox on the run".

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

More ask questions about Cresta Lodge Fire



This is an article I found tonight ,from The Border Mail dated Jan 17


Outrage at Cresta loss
By BRAD WORRALL
THESE exclusive pictures show the intensity of the blaze that destroyed Cresta Lodge last month — a fire some in the local community claim was the result of negligence.
But they don’t expect that will be the conclusion of a CFA report to be released this week.
Yesterday a spokesman for The Friends of Mt Buffalo, Leigh Kennedy, said the report was more likely to raise more questions than it answered.
“We want to know why the lodge was left unattended for more than two hours when there was fire nearby,” he said.
“Who authorised pulling the firefighters and equipment off the hill?
“Why was there a bulldozed containment line put in around the Parks Victoria offices 9km away but not around the lodge?
“And why have the investigators not interviewed members of the Ovens CFA crew that were first on the scene? We doubt that any of these questions will be answered by the report.”
Cresta Lodge, adjacent to Mt Buffalo’s only ski field, burned to the ground on the morning of December 12.
DSE, CFA and Parks Victoria crews had spent the previous afternoon back-burning around the lodge and patrolled the property overnight.
Mr Kennedy said he understood that the DSE crew who had patrolled Cresta Lodge the previous night had left the area about 7.30am.
“It was a cold change-over and no one went out to the lodge for at least two hours,” he said.
“Parks Victoria didn’t even tell the lodge management it was unattended.
“But at the same time they were expecting embers and spot fires on the northern grassy slopes near the lodge.
“We believe the report will say the lodge was destroyed by a rogue wildfire, but all the evidence points to it being the result of an ember which could have been easily prevented had there been a crew on site.”
Yesterday the CFA said the report had been completed and handed to DSE.
There is no indication of when the report will be released to the public or lessees of the lodge.
The Friends of Mt Buffalo also drew parallels between the mismanagement of the Cresta Lodge fire and the dispute that threatens to close the historic chalet on the mountain.
“We feel that Parks Victoria would like nothing better than to get rid of all accommodation in the national park,” Mr Kennedy said.
Mt Buffalo Chalet closed its doors earlier this month as part of an ongoing dispute into its lease with Parks Victoria.
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Fires add to Mt Buffalo’s uncertain future, Jan 24
No reprieve for chalet
THERE will be no last-minute rescue for Mt Buffalo Chalet.
Yesterday Burbank’s Eddie Sanfilippo confirmed the chalet would be mothballed next Wednesday.
The co-founder of the major property developer that has leased the historic tourist icon since 2004 said it would be months before the future of the chalet will be known.
And he didn’t rule out simply walking away from the lease.
Mt Buffalo Chalet closed its doors as an accommodation house earlier this month as part of an ongoing dispute into its lease with Parks Victoria.
Its tea rooms had remained open.
“There are certainly no negotiations or meetings planned for this week,” Mr Sanfilippo said.
“As it stands the chalet will close completely on January 31.
“Sometime after that we will talk with Parks Victoria and DSE about what can be done, what can be resolved.
“It is fair to say that our thinking has changed since Cresta Lodge was burnt down.
“A fair part of the mountain’s revenue stream has been lost, possibly forever.”
Last year, Burbank had announced it would close the chalet if it could not reach an agreement on getting electricity to the mountain and extend its lease.
They instructed staff to look for alternative employment from the end of February.
But the bushfire-led downturn in tourism and the loss of Cresta Lodge in the fires accelerated the closure.
Mr Sanfilippo said recent events had left the company questioning its commitment to Mt Buffalo.
“I don’t know what the future will bring for the mountain,” he said.
“The loss of the lodge has hit us in the guts, we spent $3.5 million to refurbish it.
“We have run Mt Buffalo at a significant loss since we took over — tourism is hard work.
“But when we took on the lease we were under no illusions, we realised it would not be a big money-spinner, our decision to take on the lease was partly sentimental.
“But with the fires, the downturn in visitors and the uncertainty of whether we can rebuild at Cresta we really don’t know what the future holds.
“One option would be just to walk away.”
But Mr Sanfilippo is not blaming anyone.
“Everyone is working in the best interests of Mt Buffalo,” he said.
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International firefighters are being paid $A600 a day to fight bushfires ravaging the Australian state of Victoria as overworked volunteer crews pay their own way, the Australian firefighters' union says.
United Firefighters Union state secretary Peter Marshall said on Wednesday he was "gobsmacked" to receive a leaked document showing government firefighting agencies were paying international crews to aid local workers.
Dozens of professional firefighters from the United States, Canada and New Zealand have bolstered the attack against the bushfires since they erupted almost two months ago.
The leaked document, from the Department of Sustainability and Environment and Country Fire Authority (CFA) to members of the Australasian Fire Authorities Council, shows these firefighters are being paid $A600 a day, on top of having their flights and accommodation paid for.
Mr Marshall said in contrast, CFA volunteers were sacrificing pay and footing their own bills to help protect Victorians.
In addition, more than 800 off-duty paid Metropolitan Fire Brigade and CFA firefighters were sitting idle waiting to be called on, he said.

Out of the mouths of babes....

Question of the evening from Master Feral 10 -

"Mum how come in the 1800's lots of women had to leave their husbands on trains? Coz I've seen it happen lots in movies"

Is there a 'Lost Husbands Property Box' in London somewhere I should be appraised of,for further childrens' conversation?

Bonjour mes amis !


January 24
Cornish Tinners' or Seafarers' Day-An old labor day, celebrating new season of sailing and mining in Cornwall, Great Britain. Cornish tin miners traditionally set up a pitcher in a public place and threw stones at it to destroy it.
A replacement pitcher was then bought and filled with beer, which was replenished throughout the day as they drank from it.
The miners were great inventors of reasons to celebrate, this one being a rebellion against the rule that only water was to be drunk during work time.(and a damn good rule to rebel against!)
Happy Birthday...
1941 that crunchy granola kid himself Neil Diamond
1949 the Blues Brother who's rather more than blue these days John Belushi
1959 Natassja Kinski actress daughter of actor Klaus Kinski but the far better looking of the two.
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1679 King Charles II disbanded parliament,probably the last sensible thing an English monarch ever did.
1788 Australia could have been French territory as only 6 days after Captain Arthur Phillip had arrived with the First Fleet of convicts and run up the Union Jack,French explorer Jean-Francois de Galaup anchored off Botany Bay.(On yer bike Monsieur!)
1888 Jacob L Wortman patented the typewriter ribbon. (and for this alone thousands of secretaries learnt to swear)
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Beer for dogs.....when you've had a hard day chasing your tail,wrap yer paws around this Fido!
Guilt fuels ice-cream party 35 years late.....guess he got to keep his ice-cream cake and eat it too.
Man arrested for punching shrubs....he didn't give a twig for all their limbs and decidied to leave peaceably .

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Fartypants and The Bells


January 23...
Happy Birthday...
1832 Edouard Manet- French artists are very impressionable.
1957 Look,up there ! In Hello magazine ! With more ice than Queen Liz,starchier manners than Queen Vic,more commonsense than all her relatives - it's a 50 year old Princess Caroline of Monaco!
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393 In a classic case of neopotism, Roman Emporer Theodosius proclaimed his 9 year old son Honorius his co-emporer(see! it's never what you know but who you know!)
1533 Anne Boleyn,mistress of King Henry VIII discovered herself pregnant(sitting on the royal throne will do that)
1851 The name of a new city in Oregon was decided on the toss of a coin, Portland won(and decided to bat first with Boston winning more runs than the English cricket team)
1936 George Orwell stated in an interview "I worshipped Kipling at 13,loathed him at 17,enjoyed him at 20,despised him at 25,and now again rather admire him" (Kipling was unavailable for comment for this blog)
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Trapped drunk rang out SOS on church bells.....a new mashup of ABBA's"Ring,Ring","SOS" and The Reels' "Quasimodo's Dream" perhaps?
Fartypants launched....no longer will the innocent dog be blamed for that chili you ate !
Patient fixes hospital machine....better be packing your tool box next time you call an ambulance !

Monday, January 22, 2007

Queen Vic and Nude festivals.



January 22

Happy Birthday...

1788 Lord George Gordon Byron; English Romantic poet.Described by Lady Caroline Lamb(a former lover and life long stalker) as "mad,bad and dangerous to know".(I know a lot of nursing home residents like that).

1959 Linda Blair keeps the pea soup comin' at 49.

1960 Michael Hutchence didn't hang around to see his 47th birthday.

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1788 Captain Arthur Phillip named Manly,in the new colony of NSW,after the "manly" bearing of the natives.(ohhh-ahhh you manly thing Guv)

1899 Leaders of 6 Aussie colonies met in Marvelous Melbourne to discuss confederation(and taking over the planet with the Death Star)

1901 Queen Victoria dropped off her perch(and boy,was she NOT amused)

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Wild Sth Aust weather postpones nude sports festival...they'd only be wet dangly bits after all.

Buglars break into flower shop 30 times....boy,they're REALLY trying to say it with flowers!

Musical condoms for Valentine's Day....so long as there's no Shannon Noll tracks,lovers will be making beautiful music everywhere !

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Ravens and robbers most craven


January 21...
Feast day of St.Meinrad,hermit martyr in Switzerland.In 829 Meinrad became a hermit,living in the Black Forest and fed by 2 ravens.When robbers did him in,the ravens followed them,kicking up such a fuss the robbers were quickly captured and executed.(Hermits and ravens - a match made in Heaven!)
Happy Birthday...
1801 John Batman who decided the banks of the Yarra River were a pretty good spot for a settlement.Originally named Bearbrass the settlement is now known as Melbourne.And the very first building was a pub...but without Vic Bitter.(Bearbrass sounds much better...and that pub !)
1905 Christian Dior French fashion designer(which lead to many broken bank accounts in frock shops)
1925 Benny Hill British comedian(Ernie was the fastest milkman in the west!)
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1647 Margaret Brent became the first US woman to ask for the vote,in the Maryland assembly.(can't have those intelligent,commonsense,logical women interferring in men's business!)
1790 Dr.Joseph-Ignace Guillotin demonstrated his invention,the guillotine,for the first time in Paris.(and the peasants,who were revolting,kept giving more demonstrations for some time)
1887 Brisbane received a daily rainfall of 465 millimetres(show offs !)
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Wedding ring returned after 9 months in the sea...."I told you I didn't lose it in a poker game honey !!!"
Shot duck survives 2 days in fridge.....buck a duck! Wonderstruck lucky duck able to run amok in the muck and become heartstruck by an uppitypluck starbuck of a duck.
University's left over gold goes begging....."Ohh Dahlinks,I have sooo much glitter I don't have room for more"

Thy name is Mud and thou art Glorious!


"Mud,mud glorious mud!
Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood.
So follow me,follow,
Down to the hollow
And there let us wallow
In glor-i-ous MUD!"


Had an absolute ball these past 2 days in the Rain.
Friday I was able to indulge in my favourite(?) pasttime-cleaning out the spouting while standing on a ladder in the Rain.Now usually I wait for a good thunderstorm with enough power in it to run a capital city,but I had to take my chances when they came so up the ladder I did go.
The shed spouting was growing tennis balls - 4 of them in fact(must have been an excellent year for the tennis ball crops) and the usual leaves,twigs,aliens hiding from the Govt and natures rubbish.
Moved my new water barrels around,filled the first 10 with "clean" water for the laundry and another 5 for "dirty" water for the garden and the large water tank kept right on filling up every time.
I was drenched several times over but it was such a lovely feeling being in the rain and everything smelt clean,fresh and alive again.The 3rd planting of seeds have sprouted inside a week and were growing before my eyes on Friday -we'll have more than enough eggplants,Pak Choy,pumpkins,watermelons,capsicums,peas,beans,etc to see us through til 2020 -much to Him Indoors horror(Oh the greens! The greens! Vegies everywhere nooooooooo!).
Flash flooding is happening everywhere - Mildura,Sth Aust,Central Aust,NSW....but those bloody bushfires keep on burning.
There is a fantastic explaination on Phil Maguires' blog today,describing exactly how bushfire smoke effects normal rain patterns and why we experience the following floods and extreme weather we have in Australia.
Off to listen to my garden thrive !





Saturday, January 20, 2007

Pin makers and mice.

Passionfruit on the vine.Loaded with fruit,there will be plenty given away again this year !
January 20...
Feast day of St.Sebastian.He was martyred in 288 by being bound to a tree,shot with arrows then beaten to death.He is therefore the patron saint of pin makers.(Pin makers. How ripped off was poor Sebastian ?!)
Happy Birthday...
1896 George Burns comedian,orator of gems such as
"I get a standing ovation just standing"
"I don't believe in dying...it's been done"
"Nice to be here ? At my age it's nice to be anywhere"
1920 DeForest Kelly,Star Trek's Dr.McCoy (It's life Jim but not as we know it).
1936 Tom Baker,the scarf wearing,curly mopped 4th Dr.Who and narrator of Little Britain (And now my friends, the time has come! So stand up, take your clothes off and salute the arrival of a brand new series of 'Little Britian' on BBC One! Bring it on! Good Pie !)
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1156 A Finnish soldier named Lalli martyred the crusader bishop Henry of Uppsala and was forever afterwards tormented by mice.(Good grief ! With a near mouse plague,how many bishops have they offed in South Australia???)
1949 J.Edgar Hoover gave Shirley Temple a tear-gas fountain pen(those dratted Kewpie dolls were always rioting)
1958 St Louis, Missouri, USA, radio station KWK completed its ‘Record Breaking Week’. Orders of station management had all rock & roll music banned from the airwaves. The disk jockeys gave every rock & roll record in the station library a ‘farewell spin’ before smashing it into pieces. Station manager Robert Convey called the action "a simple weeding out of undesirable music". (this station manager can now be found cleaning toilets in undesirable places).
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Opera performed in a pig shed.....not a case of pearls before swine.
School report from wrong school....sure beats the old "losing the report in the bottom of the school bag".
Skateboarding across Australia....has he not heard of backpacking ?

Friday, January 19, 2007

Convicts and Briefs

Pear tree dripping in the RAIN this morning !
Not huge buckets of rain but that delicious drizzle that soaks into everything,cleaning the air and bringing the fresh smell of earth to life again.
I'll be outside doing the happy dance in the wet stuff for the rest of the day...
January 19...
Feast Day of Thor,Iceland.(You think you're thor,I'm tho thor I thimply can't thit down!)
Happy Birthday...
1942 oh Bett-eee! Michael Crawford's parcel arrived safely,tied with string.
1943 the ever brilliant but oh so brief flash of talent Janis Joplin
1946 the full-beamed Dolly Parton (yee-ha)
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1790 The second fleet set sail for Botany Bay,NSW,with 1,006 convicts(convicts were like junk mail of the 18th century...amusing to look at but lowered the tone of the neighbourhood)
1935 Cooper's Inc. sold the world's first briefs.(Briefs ! whatever is the world coming to ?! Thermal Long Johns will keep nether regions well protected from hussies and loose women!)
1975 Adelaide, Australia: House painter John Nash had predicted an earthquake and tidal waves to destroy the city on this day. The largest wave measured was 15 cm.(The Ripple Riders celebrated with a toe dipping contest).
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Firefighters told not to use ladders....standing on a rickety chair works for everyone else!
Woman returns after 18 years in jungle....it was that wrong turn at Albaquerky.
Sanitation voted greatest medical milestone since 1840......and here I thought patients surviving a doctors' visit was a medical milestone.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Razor blades,barbed wire and bears(oh my!)

This mornings' food from the vegie patch.The dark tomatoes are the Black Russian Tomatoes,the citrus are Tangelos and the strawberries are bursting with fruit now.
January 18...
Festival of Hera,from Ancient Greece.Hera is the goddess of marriage and the wife of Zeus.She spent most of her time plotting revenge on the other women Zeus consorts with.This frustrates Zeus so much he chains her to Mt Olympus with anvils on her feet.(I've known couples like this...and it all ends in tears or at the CSI lab)
Happy Birthday...
1813 Joseph Farwell Glidden - inventer of the first commercial barbed wire(thousands of teen boys can thank him for their scarred backsides)
1849 Edmund Barton first Prime Minister of Australia (and totally unknown to Aussie schoolkids until a TV ad for teabags taught them their history)
1944 Paul Keating Australia's 24th Prime Minister and Parliamentary speaker of such gems as
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up"
"John Howard has all the vision of Mr.Magoo without the good intentions"
"You look like an Easter Island statue with an arse full of razor blades"
"John Howard is a dead carcase swinging in the breeze but nobody will cut it down to replace him"
"He is the greatest job and investment destroyer since the bubonic plague"(about John Howard and VERY prophetic)
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1644 Pilgrims reported America's first UFO sightings.(what excatly was in those peace pipes they were smoking?)
1778 the Hawaiian Islands discovered their first European, Captain Cook,who renamed them The Sandwich Islands and they promptly humoured him by making him into sandwich filling.
1972 Aussie Germaine Greer launched her book The Female Eunuch(and hasn't had anything of worth to utter since)
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Scientists who've won a Nobel Prize live 2 years longer than those merely nominated for one...ohhhh better start plugging away on those alien lifeform experiments peoples !
Escaped chimp cleans bathroom....could make a fortune,there's a demand for that sort of thing these days.
Sydney's bears turn 30 and into old women....umm hello! 30 is the new 18 !

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Fire,fire burning Bright...


Yesterday was a tad warm at 43 degrees C (109 degrees F) when the bushfires cut the city's power supply.We survived quite well with our house locked up and kept cool but pity the babies in hot cots in hospital.

I mentioned the Mountain Cattlemen trying to protect the historic Bluff Hut HERE,basically doing Parks Vic job for them.Unfortunately I read of Bluff Hut having been destroyed by these fires in Phil Maguires' blog yesterday.Hopefully it will be rebuilt but why wasn't it on Parks Vic or DSE list ?
Some idiot mongrels stole CFA firefighting equipment,to the tune of $4000.Let's hope they're caught and are forced to fight these fires as punishment and to appreciate the hard work our volunteers have put in for the last 47 days these fires have been burning.
Our fearless leader Bracks has won the award for stating the bleeding obvious when he claimed "Fires will get worse".
Victoria's CFA is run by nearly 60,000 volunteers, whose blood,sweat and tears save countless people and property every day,throught Summer and Winter.

UPDATE.

Dunnys and Naked Pollies.

Cheviot Beach Vic,where our infamous Prime Minister Harold Holt disappeared during a swim in 1967.
January 17...
Feast day of Felicitas,Roman goddess of good luck.She was also associated with agricultural prosperity...though with our drought I think she's been on extended leave.
Happy Birthday...
1706 the ever electrifying Benjamin Franklin
1811 Emperor Norton I,Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico.
1877 May Gibbs English-born Australian author and creator of Snugglepot and Cuddlepie the Australian bush fairies.
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1863 The flush toilet was patented by plumber Thomas Crapper(to whom politicians,toddlers and Kate Moss give daily thanks).
1929 Popeye the cartoon character first appeared,created by Elzie Segar.(sailors worldwide were suddenly forced to eat their greens)
1934 A chappie named Pohl found a 500 carat diamond in Pretoria Sth Africa(Pohl also found just how popular he was with the ladies)
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Farmer finds Mozart makes pigs fatter....decomposing composers to consum by ?
Break out the handcuffs someone's stolen a Ronald McDonald statue....I suspect Hamburglar done the deed or some horrid ankle biter trying to terrorise his parents into visiting the golden arches.
Egyptian politician does a nudie run in parliament.....whoa! finally a pollie revealing all !

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Aussie Burqini Pic



Aussie Burqini

Bum nuts beneath beans

Bum nuts beneath beans.

January 16...
Feast day of Concordia.Concordia was the Ancient Roman goddess of agreement and understanding (not currently celebrated by world leaders,hat makers or toddlers under 4).
Happy Birthday...
1853 Andre Michelin, French tyre manufacturer (old tyre manufacturers never die...they just get weary).
1909 Ethel Merman US entertainer(I'm ready for my close up Mr.De Mille).
1974 Kate Moss supermodel(aka super snorter )
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1794 The Bottle Hoax of London -"The Battle of The Bottle-Noddles"
An unknown person advertised that he would this evening, at the Haymarket Theatre, ‘play on a common walking cane the music of every instrument now used, to surprising perfection’ and ‘get into a tavern quart bottle, without equivocation, and while there, sing several songs, and suffer any spectator to handle the bottle; that if any spectator should come masked, he would, if requested, declare who they were; and that in a private room he would produce the representation of any person dead, with which the person requesting it should converse some minutes, as if alive.’
Spectators did, indeed, show up, in great numbers, including the Duke of Cumberland, and paid up to 7 shillings and sixpence. When no performer showed up, a joker in the audience called out that if they paid double, someone would get into a pint bottle. Then pandemonium broke out, with the audience pulling down the theatre sets and the good Duke waving his sword.
1796 Australia's first theatre, ‘The Playhouse’, opened in Bligh St, Sydney Town. It was built by convicts and its manager was John Sparrow. The theatre’s first audience saw two plays: The Hotel and The Revenge(the cat'o'nine tails might have given them incentive not to riot at this theatre)
1866 Clamp-on roller skates were patented ( human evolution never looked back after this!)
1889 Australia's highest temperature in the shade was recorded at Cloncurry Queensland-53.1 C (127.6 F)....just a little warmish weather...fry your eggs on the footpath Guv?
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Parkes NSW breaks record for most Elvis impersonators in one place....(new record set for bad taste jump suits and sequin sales)
Bare-bottom bandit given jail sentence......obviously celebrating the Feast Day of The Ass!
Campaign to pardon Britain's last witch....come on,she hasn't raised her broomstick at any naughty children in years ....though judging by some little horrors,maybe she should !

Monday, January 15, 2007

Hermits,Ass' and chubby pandas.

This mornings' tomato pickings

January 15...
Feast Day of St.Paul the hermit - he lived in a cave and was supplied with food and clothing from a palm tree for 21 years.After that a raven fed him for the next 47 years.When he died 2 lions dug his grave.(Who knew palm tree fibre was sooo good for you ? I'm betting that's the first and last time a raven dropped anything useful onto a human).
Feast Day of The Ass in Ancient Rome ....awww they were celebrating our politicians before they were even born.
Happy Birthday
1842 Paul Lafargue,Karl Marx' son-in-law and author of "The Right to Be Lazy",which argues that laziness is an important source of human progress( I demand a public holiday in his honour immediately !!)
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1797 The first top hat worn in London. Haberdasher James Hetherington was fined £50 for wearing it and causing a breach of the peace, it being found that he "appeared on the public highway wearing a tall structure of shining lustre and calculated to disturb timid people". (run for the hills it's a HAT !)
1846 Fourteen-year-old Angélique Cottin, of La Perriere, France, first experienced a strange phenomenon that lasted ten weeks. When she approached objects they retreated from her, and furniture jumped away from her at the slightest touch of her hand or her clothing. (it only stopped when the dirty wench finally bathed)
1933 After nearly a century of cooperative living, the utopian Amana colonists of Iowa, USA, began using US currency for the first time. Barter within the community had helped them avoid using American currency.(Utopia,bartered for a green back)
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Simon says...obey your satnav system implicitly and drive onto railway tracks(wonder if all the sheep are as obedient as him?)
Pandas on low-carb sex diet.... is this Anna Nicole Smith's diet secret revealed?
Northern Territory couple reel in live mortar shell while fishing....(Don't panic,I'm sure they did the responsible thing and threw it back coz it was undersized).

Sunday, January 14, 2007

I'm NOT happy John !!!

I was doin the happy dance of happiness on Friday.You see the rainwater barrels were in stock with 9 of them reserved for lil ol me...yippie !
I played packhorse and trundled them home,one at a time,10 trips in total...the last one to return the trolley...and sat back gazing in rapture at the last of my water storages.
I had Him Indoors all primed to insert taps and connect the barrels to the existing ones,with much grumbling of course,ready to sit waiting for the precious water to fall when I happened to read todays' paper.
I mentioned last week about a rumour we've all heard that the State Govt were going to attach water meters to rainwater tanks and water bores....well as it turns out it's our Federal Govt that's going to tax us on water in our rainwater tanks.
According to these money-hungry cretins "Legally, all water in Australia is vested in governments."
It is ? Did someone forget to send the memo to Mother Nature or the environment?
Have our governments suddenly been annointed God ?
Such a regime already exists for farmers catching rainwater and storing it in dams.If a farmer wants to build a dam he has to apply for a licence and pay for the water that falls from the sky.This doesn't include irrigation rights of river water(for which farmers pay mega$$$),but rain falling from the sky on the farmers' land. Nicknamed "privatising rain" in 1999.
Talk about water on the brain !
This ties in nicely with our Prime Monkey Bonsai Howard wanting Federal control of Australias' river systems.
Ahhh the clever little monkey might have a baboons' face but he's got a manipulative calculating brain. Then again maybe one should look to Mrs. Monkey,often claimed to be the real brains behind the Monkey Throne.

Licencing our rainwater tanks,then taxing us if we collect more than our "alotted" amount,from our own roofs no less,is sheer Government gluttony at it's infinate worst.
Claiming roof-collected rainfall deprives rivers and underground water systems of the much needed wet stuff is bordering on the ridiculous .Rain will fall wherever it falls and claiming the public is depriving (or "stealing") it from anything is bloody madness.If they could regulate rain clouds they would.
Since before white settlement Australia's rivers have evolved with feast or famine of our flutuating rainfall.Many major rivers have been documented as having completely dried up,only to be reborn with the next heavy downpours.
In fact many rivers have been in far worse condition than they are currently yet none of the past Govts flushed them with precious drinking water.That's the same drinking water collected in a purpose-built catchment, but apparently rivers over-ride the growing populations' entitlement to clean,reliable water during a drought.
They are trying to sell us on recycled sewerage to drink - but only after it's privatised,with private water companies banging for big bucks.
If recycled water is so pure and safe to drink why not use that to flush the river systems and return it to artesian water supplies?
Or insist industries substitute it for our drinking water they currently use?
Or pipe it into homes for use in washing,toilets,gardens ?
The Federal Govt claims rainfall is theirs,likening themselves to God,but only after they've sighted a possible tax lurk in it for their over-flowing coffers.
An old saying is coming true -
"The day shit is worth money,poor people will be born without arseholes".

You gotta have Pride !

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence Pride March Melbourne 2006.
Pride March 2007 21st January 3pm-9.30pm.
January 14....
1788 Convicts first arrived at Botany Bay Australia(real estate values went down the toilet)
1878 Queen Victoria received a personal demonstration of Alexander Graham Bell's invention the telephone.(for once she was amused)
1938 Walt Disney's Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs was released.(shortly after the 7 dwarfs of menopause showed up -Itchy,Bitchy,Sweaty,Sleepy,Bloated,Forgetful and Psycho)
1966 David Jones changed his name to David Bowie,to avoid confusion with The Monkees' Davy Jones(What confusion? One now rides horses as a jockey in old age,the other is addicted to Sponge Bob Square Pants in old age )
1984 Ray Kroc founder of McDonald’s, died at 82. Cremated in one of his own restaurants, his ashes are kept at the first McDonald’s (in a croc pot perhaps ?)
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Don't hang up on the next odd phone call,as it could be a wealthy bachelor seeking heirs for his estate from the phone book....puts a new spin on Lionel Richies' song "Hello? Is it me you're looking for ?"
Forget the plastic surgeon,buy your significant other a case of breast-boosting beer...ahhh finally we discover Pamela Anderson's diet secret of cutting out the middle man with dating !
Church bells silnced after one single complaint....gee wonder if that would work with the babbling noise from our politicians ?

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Bewitched Frisbeeeeeees!

Tonight(AESDT) 9-11pm Not The Real McCoy




January 13....


1906 - Hugh Gernsback of the Electro Importing Company advertised radio receivers for sale for the low, low price of just $7.50. The first ad selling the gizmos guaranteed reception of about one mile. (a whole mile ? better alert the broadcasting commission!)


1957 - The Wham-O Company developed the first plastic Frisbee.(woohoo)


1966 - Elizabeth Montgomery’s character, Samantha, on "Bewitched", had a baby,Tabitha.(she followed tradition of driving the human male up the wall).


Tragic Chart Stoppers of 1989


Every Rose Has Its Thorn - Poison


My Prerogative - Bobby Brown


Two Hearts - Phil Collins


Hold Me - K.T. Oslin
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Hold onto your boarding passes - the Northern Territory has set up cane toad departure lounges....dread to think what the inflight service is like !
Warm weather has almost melted the ice chess hopes of 2 nations....at least Queen Liz doesn't have to castle Putin's pawns ;)
How many Christmas trees can one dog attend? A woman woke to find 37 Christmas trees propped around her pool....the poor dog will be exhausted after the first 10 !

Friday, January 12, 2007

Very Hairy Balls

Very Hairy Balls
Cactus named Very Hairy Balls,it looks as though it's covered in spider webs but it's the very fine spikey needles.This is Him Indoors' Very Hairy Balls and the first time they've flowered.They prefer partial shade/sun,with minimum water.There are Hairy Balls but they're not as impressive as Very Hairy Balls.
January 12
Happy Birthday...
1628 Charles Perrault French fairy tale author-Cinderella,Sleeping Beauty,Red Riding Hood,Help my Mother In Law's a Circus Freak(oh wait...that's Jerry Springer)
1876 Jack London author Call of The Wild,The Cruise of The Snark(titles obviously inspired by my Mother In Law)
1997 HAL the computer from 2001: A Space Odyssey became operational( if you shift each letter of HAL to the right it's IBM)
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1824 Governor Arthur arrived in Hobart,Tasmania(there goes the neighbourhood!)
1888 The end of the world was predicted for this day in Birmingham,England(wonder if they were right?)
1966 Batman the TV series was first broadcast on this date(Holy Humping Hogamany Batman,the batpoles have been greased again!)
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Break out the horsewhip as 50 % of managers could be psychopaths(well DERRRR)
OK you can stop looking now,Marlene Dietrichs' lost pearl earring has been found(is there a reward?)
Robbers should know you can't have your cake and eat it too because crumbs will lead you straight to The Big House.(just ask Hansel and Gretel !)

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Bit Warm


The Horsewhipping Lord Mayor of Sydney

January 11
Happy Birthday...
1866 Richard Denis Meagher,notorious lawyer,politician and Lord Mayor of Sydney.in 1898 he horsewhipped newspaper editor John Norton in King St Sydney,who replied with several gun shots...(ahhh the good old days when life was simpler!)
1906 Albert Hofmann,Swiss chemist who found out just what LSD could really do(ohhh preeeety)
1930 Rod Taylor Aussie actor The Time Machine,The Birds (no long lost spouse of Mz Liz Taylor)
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1770 The first shipment of rhubarb was sent to the United States from London. Benjamin Franklin sent the plant to John Bartram in Philadelphia(extra fibre-y goodness in every glass of Rhubarb Wine)
1783 London's River Thames froze over.A Frost Fair was held with over 3,000,000 people frolicking on the frozen river.(bring back the Frost Fairs I say !)
1878 The first delivery of milk in glass bottles was made, in Brooklyn, New York, by Alexander Campbell(the cows balked at being milked on customers doorsteps)
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Urinal thief flushed out...the story made world news about the souvenired percy pointed porcelain.(did Royal Doultan shares increase at all ?)
Dracula's Castle is up for grabs to local authorities for only $78 mill......(seems they've learnt new ways to get blood these days)
Nude skiing Austrian...(global warming has a lot to answer for)
NY Mayors' secure line "bat phone" called by pesky salesmen at dinnertime.....(welcome to my world Mayor !)
Looking for Kings or Queens....(could we swap Camilla with an Aussie checkout chick ?)

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Dances with Spiders

Faced with a choice of Law & Order reruns or doing the laundry(oh my ! be still my beating heart !) I went and played in the water.
I wash everything by hand,so after a day of hot hot hot weather I really didn't mind splashing about in the troughs.I was tempted to take a running leap into the suds but I just knew it would only encourage the cats.
A few years ago Him Indoors made me my washboard because of course I don't have a river to pound my laundry with rocks in my backyard(although we nearly did when we discovered the old septic tank while moving the clothesline) and I refuse to buy another washing machine.
Paddled in the water and then had the fun of chatting to the chook pecking my feet while I hung out the clothes,swatting the stray mozzie and then The Dance of Avoiding The Spiders on The Clothesline began.
Not sure if they're undersized Huntsmen or Wolf spiders,but these large-ish brown furry 8 legged beings take over my line at the stroke of 7pm every night.
They've built webs around Him Indoors' boxers,colonised bath towels,had guests over in our socks,chased me around the line trying to argue their right to be there and given me more adreneline rushes than Hugh Jackman shirtless....though the judges are still out on that one.
I've seen them scurrying down the trunk of the gum tree synchronising their watches to leap en masse upon the line at 7pm.
Some nights I can flick them away ,others they sneak up on me and wave a furry leg silently yelling"BOO" and I swear I can hear them chuckling as I jump screeching into the air.
Tonight I was bravely able to reposition a couple via their web strands into the tomato bushes and walk the long way back to the house.

Happy Independent Florida Day ?

January 10
Only 355 days left in 2007 !
Happy Birthday to...
1883 Francis X.Bushman(actor)starred in "The Ghost in The Invisible Bikini"(wonder if it's on DVD ?)
1945 Rod Stewart(blonde Scottish himbo)
1949 Linda Lovelace(need I say more?)
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1861 Florida seceded from the United States(fireworks tonight Joe?)
1918 Women got the right to vote in both Britain and USA (hear us roar)
1929 First Tintin comic ,The Red Sea Sharks,was published today.
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Mervyn Obst has been predicting the weather for years by closely watching native trees and he has tipped the month of May might be more than merely merry with Rain.
Might buy the lad a beer or 20 when I'm next up his way ;)
Cattlemen are getting the heave ho from the Barmah forest,despite little evidence of damage to vegetation, just as Mountain Cattleman Phil Maguire continues to fight for his legally licenced right to graze cattle on the Bogong High Plains.
Coastal communities could be facing the bushfires within 48 hours,CFA captains were predicting last November this fire would only stop once it reached Bass Strait.
Yesterday it was Black Sea dolphins trying to drown a drunken swimmer,today it's a whale sinking a sailors' yacht(he wasn't a drunken sailor as the Black Sea piddled paddler more than made up for it.)

Odds and Ends and In Between bits too.

Jamieson Hotel staff humour.

Fires leave the sound of silence in more Green corridors than just the blackened bush.

Athol Hodgson states the facts needed to fight deadly fires....not just more hot air with soy lattes.


Historic Westons Hut destroyed by fires..will it be rebuilt though ?

Don't go running your dogs,horses or family camels on the beaches anytime in the future..I know some of you love watching your humpy friends frolic in the sands.

Black Sea dolphins tried to drown a drunken swimmer(didn't his mother tell him not to swim within 30 mins of drinking his weight in beer? Or with a fish more intelligent than himself?).

In a galaxy far,far away...Russian satellite to search for extraterrestrial intelligence.....last one to leave Earth-please turn out the light.

We can get a Brazilian(though some of us shouldn't even consider it) but Brazilians can't get YouTube....

New Jersey to remove the word "idiot" from it's constitution.....that would have eliminated most of our politicians from even campaigning ...

A Bangkok municipal office to introduce nap times.....some of our govt offices have yet to wake up from their siesta from 1971.
And a final reminder to all...be careful where you leave your underwear,after a dog ate his owners' thong...poor pooch was trying to floss ;)

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Plumbago...lumbago...banana!

Attack of The Killer Plumbago !
More green garden pics for Cindra lol.
Plumbago seems to thrive with less and less water,as does the dark red geranium(correct name pelargonium).Somewhere in there is what was once a driveway......
Speaking of gardens -Sir Frederick Sargood was a man ahead of his time when he created Rippon Lea and the intricate plans for conserving water in 1868.
Woohoo the toxic dump got dumped (you can't see me doing the happy dance,and for this alone you should be happy ).
Always take your missus along if you plan on being attacked by crocs....just make you pack her right beside the Swiss Army Knife ;)
Distressing news for children(and children at heart),Takamoto,designer of The Flintstones,The Jetsons and the iconic Scooby-Doo has died.Damn that evil Scrappy-Doo !
And now that Dino and Joe have announced that bananas are only $4 per kilo,I'll throw in a recipe....
Chocolate Bananas
Peel Bananas.
Push chocolate drops into the sides of the banana.
Wrap in kitchen foil.
Throw on the BBQ after cooking the meat.
Check after 10-15mins,depending on BBQ heat.
Unwrap bananas carefully,serve with ice cream.
*optional*
Sprinkle chopped nuts/coconut/topping of choice.

Scotch,staple guns and Welshmen don't mix !

Soundtracks for migraines

Yesterday I rediscovered the halluncinogenic properties of migraines.
The half-conscious dreams of 6 bright blue Naomi Campbells of the Apocolyse,waving Excalibar swords and chanting "one ring to rule them all" while line dancing to Carly Simons' "You're So Vain" was sort of fun,except for the feeling someone was trying to batter my head with the blunt end of an axe.
It was when several Naomis morphed into David Cassidy singing the Partridge Family theme "Come On Get Happy" ,with Shirley Jones and Margaret Thatcher doing Nicole Kidmans'scenes from the movie Moulin Rouge that I decided the axe was far too blunt and death was almost preferable.
Eventually the wide screen format images were replaced with the blessedly dull inside of my eyelids and the axe was replaced by a tree branch,weilded by a Munchkin who'd wandered too far from the yellow brick road(there was an Elton John soundtrack on repeat somewhere in my grey matter).
Slept like the snoring dead,ate toast and soup,then snored some more.
Awoke this morning to the neighbour knocking on the door to tell us he'd witnessed a prowler jumping over the fence from their yard into ours.We've had someone prowling about for several months now.
Leapt from the bed faster than an Olympic sprinter,rang the police while Him Indoors checked our yard.
After the police had been and left to cruise the neighbourhood,the feral 10 year old beastie came to us and VERY sheepishly admitted he'd climbed the fence to pick leaves,had fallen off the fence into the neighbours' yard and then climbed back over again.
After I did the maternal equivalent of a volcanic eruption the embarrassed feral beastie was marched next door to apologise,I called the police to explain and apologise for the mistake(hysterical laughter at the police station was heard from my end) and a very meek and mild offspring put himself back to bed.
At least the chooks are still laying eggs......

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Beans,Beans the musical fruit....


What every self-respecting gardener should have growing in the vegie patch - a hat stand !
Actually we missed throwing it out during the last hard rubbish collection(along with Him Indoors) but the beans have grown to like it :P
If you ever need a quick growing vine to cover an area for Spring/Summer throw some Scarlet Runner Beans in.This lot grew from last years vine stock,with extras popping up from last Summers' beans.Drought tolerant,this lot only get water what falls from up above,they are edible and also return nitrogen to the soil.
And the chooks like to nest under it !
Police trialling camera hats in Brisvegas...but not to take pics of Bad Tigger....or The Alaskan Abominable Snowman....or the credit card totting feline Messiah...and certainly not the Welshman who walked into court..

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Lambs,Cows,Canadians and halfwits.

First you could adopt a NZ lamb....but now you can sponsor a Victorian cow(no no no not me !) to help out the farmers in the drought.
And a massive THANK YOU to the 52 Canadian firefighters coming over to beat around the Aussie bush,literally,til mid-Feburary.

And more proof the lifesavers weren't watching the gene pool again...3 idiots caught drink driving the same car within a matter of hours.
As the (Aussie) saying goes "If you drink and drive you're a bloody idiot".

Weird,wacky,odd and just plain strange.

What does one do in sunny Darwin when time hangs heavily on one's hands ?
Only the obvious...break into a service station and attempt to steal more than 30 ice creams !
Or males could try for a real pisser...and literally steal their local pubs urinal-I'm even struggling to find a way of recycling THAT one !
For those who daily fight the urge to climb in with your whites for the final rinse,there's now warnings on washing machines just for you.
For other wacky warning labels that might apply to you click here.
For us women who appreciate a bra that does more than lift and seperate - proof the over the shoulder boulder holder can stop bullets.
Wanted - one gorgeous bloke sitting on a dead horse,must send photo of horse -who is this man and WHY did he feel the urge to prop against a trotter who shall gallop no more ?
And again,burglars who break into homes know not to sample the booze and beans then pass out.
What is the world coming to when pet lobsters have their own fan club ? Didn't Cliff Richard have a fan club ?
Birds of a feather catch the ferry together...
And finally...once upon a time you'd have to bring an apple for the teacher...now it's bribe money to get out of PE.

Rainwater Tanks to have meters ?

About to hit the hay when a little birdie whispered in my shell-like ear...
Been hearing these whispers for a few weeks but they've become mutterings this past week,with stage 3 water restrictions coming into force.
These mutterings concern rain water tanks being retro fitted with water meters - you know,the kind the water companies read to bill you for $$$.
Not only that,all bore water bores will also have these meters.
Apparently everyone who installs a rain water tank or drills a bore and applies for the State Govt rebate will have a visit from their water authority employed plumber in the not too distant future.
Perhaps this is what the Govt is hoping will fund our $150 million bushfire season.
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And how utterly suprising to hear the Mount Buffalo Chalet is not re-opening.
Word on the Alpine slopes is that Parks Vic wasn't going to renegotiate the contract and these fires have helped put the last nail in the coffin.
The 2003 fires seemed to be the beginning of the end.
And so comes to pass what was written in "Alps at The Crossroads" in 1974 -
"Luxurious accommodation belongs outside the park , not in it".

Friday, January 05, 2007

Victoria bushfires Dec 2006- Jan 2007








For more pictures click HERE